Arianna Millington

Words of Wisdom

Common SENSE-itivity

By: Arianna Millington

Posted: 2/5/10

"My biggest weakness is my sensitivity. I am too sensitive of a person."

-Mike Tyson

There's this kid at this school who is extremely silly! He changes his profile picture to other people's against their will, he at one point had his face as the background on all the Macs in the math lab, and he created a weird profile on Facebook for his right hand. Let's just call him Timmy.

Timmy is one of those guys that's so comfortable with his heterosexuality that he jokes all the time about doing vulgar things with other guys. He doesn't try to hide it from them at all either; in fact, he goes as far as hugging them sometimes. Two of hese guys, who I know don't like Timmy's way of joking, don't respond in what I think is the smartest way. One of them continually responds to Timmy's ridiculous antics in a way that lets Timmy know that he's being bothered.

That's like when you're in elementary school, and there's a bully, and the only reason he continues to bother you is the fact that you let him know it's working.

Honestly, I see nothing wrong with what Timmy is doing, besides the hugging. Physical contact sometimes is too much as far as a joke goes. Aside from that he's fine. Some may call him immature, crazy, or just playing too much, but it's just a joke, right?

Each person responds to "joking" differently, for example someone might say Timmy is truly the funniest person they know, and some might call Timmy's jokes verbal sexual harassment. Are we supposed to live and talk based on someone's feelings? What if someone is oversensitive? Who determines what oversensitivity is?

I know I'm oversensitive, but then again it depends on how I already feel that day. I'm not big on what other people think say about me behind my back, because even if I were perfect, they would STILL talk about me.

However if I tell someone about something that they do to my face that bothers me, and I DON'T think is funny and they continue to upset me deliberately, I simply disconnect myself from that person. I just disconnect, whether that means deleting them from my Facebook, my contacts in my phone, or even not hanging around them in person anymore.

I don't necessarily always think that person is evil and hate them, I just think that since they can't acknowledge what I'm not comfortable with, or sensitive to, then they don't deserve me as a friend.

I encourage everyone to do the same! Maybe this separation lasts the rest of my life, or maybe it lasts a week. If a person decides to apologize, then I'm there, ready and forgiving.

Application: My thought on sensitivity is you can't control anyone but you. So if something makes you uncomfortable either deal with it, or ignore it. Don't try to tell people what they can and can't say. Karma is a better punishment anyway.

Example: So far this school year at Lyndon I have grown extremely close to this girl, let's call her Pamela. We were like best friends and, until recently, everything has been cool, . But since we got back from break, she really likes hanging out with this kid. Let's call him Daniel.

All day and everyday they are together, it's like she's in love with him or something, but I found it's more of a best friend situation. So of course at first I thought I was jealous, but that just didn't feel like that was the problem exactly. Every time I was around Dan, it seems like he always picked on me! I know it sounds super childish, but his constant attempts to hurt my feelings was really too much for me to handle. He always mocked the way I talked and ridiculed the fact that I was black, and always had fun laughing at whatever I said and did. I simply reasoned that he made me uncomfortable and that I don't have to tolerate him. This may be the most over-sensitive I have ever been, but that's for me to decide.

So now I don't hang with Pam as much as I used to, or as much as I would like, and she even said to me: "If you don't like people who pick on you , then you won't have any friends!" I told her that I'd rather have very little or no friends, than to be around a bunch of people that made me uncomfortable.

Today we're all three still cool, though I find it more accurate to say that Pam and Dan are best friends, and that's all right with me!

Report your progress: If you try this application and you like what you've done, please let me know. Positive feedback is proof that persuades someone else to try, slowly improving our world.