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What's Making Ani Angry This Week?

By Ani Pytlewski
On September 9, 2011


For those of you who are reading this column for the first time, which is all of you, considering this is my first vent-sesh, my name is Ani, and a lot of things make me angry.  Instead of verbally divulging all of my anger and irritating subjects on my friends, I decided I would write this column, and divulge all of my anger and irritating subjects on the entire student and faculty body at Lyndon State College. To tell you the truth I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

Ugh, where do I begin?  Let's start with MOODLE.  Al  right LSC, we get it, you like change, and change is great… WHEN IT WORKS--not when you're trying to sign your employee time sheet, or register for a class, but the portal is "unavailable."  On top of that, who the hell came up with the name "Moodle?"  It's not like I would be some big-wig tech person at a college, who had to choose the online database for students from a list and go, "Hmm, blackboard? No. SharePoint? Naah. MOODLE? YES! Because that sounds professional…"

You know what else makes me angry? Flooding.  First of all, being wet isn't really my thing, so having my house, car, and all of my belongings wet on top of that, makes me pretty freaking livid.  Sidenote: I do have to say that LSC made me the opposite of angry when they postponed the start of the semester. Whoever came up with that brilliant idea, I, Angry Ani, and the rest of the students and families affected by that bitch Irene, thank you.

Enough of the niceness, here's some more anger…

Chin straps make me angry.  If you want hair on your face, why don't you just grow a beard?  Period.  Not, grow a beard, and then shave it so intricately that it outlines the edges of your face and accentuates your strong masculine wannabe Brat Pitt (who also makes me angry) jaw line. And also, if you've got that kind of "baby-face" cutesy look going on, let me be the first one to say a chin strap is NOT for you.

You know what really makes me angry?  When I decide to wear a dress and cannot avoid the random townie question of, "YOU GOIN' TO A WEDDING?"  No I'm not going to a wedding you ass--I've decided to wear something that's not pants.  I mean, why do people constantly ask me if I'm going to a wedding when I chose to switch it up and wear a dress.  It's not like I'd ask every person wearing sneakers if they're going to their tennis match?  It makes me angry that people around LSC don't understand that sometimes, believe it or not, girls wear dresses, REGARDLESS of a wedding.

Lastly, skinny eyebrows make me angry.  I'm Greek, so I have what some would call, "bushy" or full eyebrows, and to tell you the truth, I look like a freak without them.  That's actually a fact because this summer this girl practically waxed mine off.  I have to keep them nice and groom them so that I don't look like I'm walking around with a caterpillar on my face, but when I went to get them cleaned up, the girl did a spotless job. And when I say spotless, I mean she left me with almost NO eyebrows.  I looked like a middle school bitch that just discovered the tweezers.  Yeah I know, I'm probably exaggerating, but I looked waka-flankin' ridiculous.  And so do all the other girls who think that tweezing their eyebrows into straight lines is going to make them hot. So there you have it, I'm Ani, and I'm angry, and now you all get to read about it. 

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