Angry Ani Speaks Out: First chin straps; now bra straps; Off with both!

AHH-KNEE. That's it.  That's how you pronounce my name. It's not ANNIE, or ANNA, it's ANI (AHH-KNEE).  It makes me angry when I hear people calling my column angry Annie.  The name Annie – MAKES  ME ANGRY.  I don't know why exactly this name makes me angry, maybe because IT'S NOT MINE.

You know what else has been making me really angry?  It especially pisses me off around 8am and 3:30pm on weekdays.  If you haven't guessed it by now, it's L.I. bitches and those damn crosswalks.  The crosswalk is like a pedestrian's luxurious privilege and those punk bitches have taken waaaaay too much advantage with it - and when I say "waaaay too much advantage," I mean WAY TOO MUCH TIME! PICK UP YOUR FEET AND MOVE SO I CAN GET TO WHERE I NEED TO GO. Slow bitches in the crosswalk make me angry.

"Gym buddies," make me angry.  If you know me, I run… a lot.  I'm a regular in the gym and people have a tendency to see me running around town, but bottom line – I like to work out.  However, just because I like to work out, doesn't mean I want to work out WITH SOMEONE.  I work out with the cross-country team because I'm on it, and surprisingly I also enjoy it, but when people ask me to be their "gym buddy," it literally makes me cringe. I really don't see the point in going to the gym in pairs, period.  Especially COUPLES who work out together.  Yeah some of you may say, (in that annoying bitchy voice) "but a gym buddy gives me more motivation and support."  What ever happened to self-determination? Or what about independence?  Can people not do anything alone?  Back to couples that work out together… WHY!? I mean when I work out, I don't even want to look at myself in that state, so why the hell would I want the guy I like looking at me? Last time I checked, people in relationships like to keep their partner attracted – not drive them away by their rosacea red sweaty face.

Finally, girls who let their bra straps show MAKE ME ANGRY.  Okay ladies, you are in college, therefore you must have hit puberty, which means you probably have developed breasts by now, which means you [hopefully] wear a bra.  So, when you are walking around in a tank top that clearly reveals your bra straps that are bright red, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! Like, we know [and hope] you are wearing a bra, but we don't need to see the freaking evidence.  On top of that, IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.  Also, there's no reason for this.  We live in an age where some genius, who was probably just as repulsed by this act as I am, invented the STRAPLESS BRA.  Maybe you find them uncomfortable – NO EXCUSE – there was another angry genius out there who invented a bra that you could wear 100 ways (straps included).  With these innovative bras, there is no reason, nor excuse, other than your own bad tastes, to let your bra straps hang out. 

Instead of ending my article right here, leaving you all with the things that are making me angry this week, I'm going to let you all in on some things I actually like.  Yeah I know it's hard to believe that some things make me happy!  So here they are:  People who read my column, People who shaved their chin straps in response to reading my column, V-necks (on guys…not skanks), the word BODACIOUS, and finally taking the time out of my busy day to just sit on my ass and do nothing, makes me BODACIOUSLY HAPPY.  Talk to you next week, bitches! DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY