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Angry Ani Speaks Out: Teen Mom and MTV: Nah Trick!

By Ani Pytlewski

On September 23, 2011

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YEAH PLAYAH! Third week of Angry Ani! Go me. It's weird, the more I write about the things that make me angry, the angrier I get. Though, I do go to Lyndon State, therefore I have a student body that never seems to let me down… in the angry department. So what's making me angry now? A LOT.

How about the shows Sixteen and Pregnant and Teen Mom? Before I start ranting, I'd like to say I have nothing against teen moms, just the shows that MTV decided to make about them. Why does this make me angry though? First of all, the obvious: you get pregnant, at a time in your life that's not really considered to be the most appropriate, nor convenient, and then MTV puts you on TV and makes you a celebrity (yes, you are still a celebrity, even if it is for infamous reasons). Actually, I take that back, you're not a celebrity; YOU'RE A TEEN MOM - who for some odd reason, was given a TV show. Now sure, some of you are out there saying (in a bitch voice), "oh but the media is just trying to show the hardships that teen moms go through because people need to understand the burdens of their situation." Well we get it; pregnancy is enough of a burden, whether you're sixteen, or seventy-two, there is no leisure in pregnancy. Lifetime hasn't made a show called "Seventy-two and Expecting," so why the hell do we need to hear about it when you're sixteen?

Also, the fact that there are TWO shows dedicated to this phenomenon, pisses me off. It's like Sixteen and Pregnant is the show that documents all the dirty, nitty gritty, hormonal overweight teens yelling at their toolish baby daddies, but then we have the sequel, Teen Mom, which shows no longer overweight teen mom's, due to her new cocaine habit that was developed, due to her new paycheck from MTV, DUE TO her teen pregnancy that the viewers, and the teen moms, have somewhat forgot about in between their manicures and non-mom college friends' parties. Bottom line, these shows, make. Ani. angry. Side note: Props to the couple that gave up their baby for adoption, who turned out to be actual decent people. Eric Blaisdell, editor of the Critic, and I, thank you.

On the topic of babies, parents who think they [and their children] can do whatever they want just because they have kids makes me angry. I was once in a restaurant called Big Boy's (against my will), when I was like ten years old, when the kids in the booth behind us ordered hot dogs off of the children's menu. Well instead of eating these hot dogs, like normal hungry children, the kids chewed them, stood up on the shoddy ass vinyl seats, turned around and began spitting the A.B.C. hot dog chunks at the back of my head and neck. For starters, I hate any food that comes in tube form, i.e. hot dogs, and getting them spit at the back of my head from a juvenile stranger really made me angry.

However, I'm not usually the one to let things that piss me off slide by, or in this case, fall down the back of my shirt. My initial reaction was to: A. Turn around and tell their parents what they were doing, or B. Chew up my food, turn around and spit it back in their faces. Well, like a civilized human being, I chose to turn around and tell their parents to please stop the kids from spitting their food at the back of my neck, I mean that's not too much to ask right? "THEY'RE ONLY CHILDREN," the mom replied back to my request, "and they're just HOT DOGS." I was ten years old and even I knew this bitch was crazy.

So then, I asked the waitress to please ask them to stop and what was her response? "They're the parents, and they have three young kids, so…" SO WHAT!?!?!? THESE BITCHES ARE SPITTING HOT DOGS AT MY NECK!!! Well I took the high road, which didn't work, so I took the second high road, and that didn't work. So what was left? Plan B: Turn around and spit my chewed up food in the kids' faces, which is exactly what I did. We got kicked out, and I'm pretty sure I was never going to be allowed in a Big Boy franchise ever again… and I was fine with that.

What else… Overprotective girlfriends. Guys, if you like that much protection, get a freaking bodyguard, or just wear a condom.

Mirror pictures. I really don't see the point of a mirror picture on facebook. (For those of you who don't know what a mirror picture is, it is a picture of yourself taken IN A MIRROR, with the flash on, and if you're a skank you are probably in a bathing suit). If you ever become so bored that you start photographing yourself, and the thought, "Gee I wonder how this would look if I took it in the mirror," comes to your mind, let me just remind you, it would probably look exactly the same as if you took a full body shot WITHOUT the mirror image, although we would sadly still have to see your face since there would be no gigantic flash over it. Bottom line - don't take mirror pictures.

So there you have it. All of the things that are making me angry this week. Until next time, I'm Ani, and I'm angry, and you better be freaking happy you get to read about it bitches.